Falling Slowly
by kem722
Summary: Jasper is a drifter without a home and Alice is everything he never knew he needed. One-Shot, A/H


Title: Falling Slowly

Pairing: Alice/Jasper

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I own nothing—Stephenie Meyer gets all credit for anything Twilight-related, including Alice and Jasper. Glen Hansard/Marketa Irglova own "Falling Slowly", Elton John owns "Your Song" and Andrew Belle owns "You're in My Veins". Listen to them all on my profile page.

Author's Note: This was written as a birthday present for MDealsWithIt who celebrated getting a little closer to 30 last week;) You have her to thank (or blame) for this. She also made a gorgeous banner which you can check out on my profile page. And well, as always, big thanks to luckyj525 and MDealsWithIt for their assistance with this fic.

* * *

"_I don't know you but I want you_

_All the more for that_

_Words fall through me_

_And always fool me_

_And I can't react_

_And games that never amount_

_To more than they're meant_

_Will play themselves out…"_

Alice Cullen leaned against the counter, waiting for her brother Edward to show up so she could leave for the afternoon. It was nearly empty in the small bookshop anyway and Alice was bored and had shopping plans; the bookstore wasn't exactly a hot spot to be on a Tuesday afternoon.

The door opened and Alice looked up, ready to greet her brother. However, the man that stood in the doorway was not Edward. He was someone Alice had never seen before. He was tall and thin and had unruly blonde hair that fell in slight waves around his face. His eyes met Alice's and she nearly gasped. They were a deep green color, a color Alice loved and when he looked at her, Alice had the irrational thought that she had been waiting for him her entire life.

It was raining outside and the man shook his head, sending droplets of water flying from his hair. His clothes were wrinkled and his boots scuffed and the guitar case he had slung across his back was scratched as well, giving him a slightly rumpled appearance.

Alice smiled at the man and he seemed startled by that. He glanced around at the nearly empty store as if he wasn't sure Alice was really smiling at him and for a moment he seemed to debate turning around and leaving.

"Can I help you?" Alice asked, smiling sweetly and hoping to herself that he would stay.

"Um, I'm just looking, thanks," the man answered and Alice noticed his voice had a soft twang to it, so different from the voices Alice heard in Portland on a daily basis.

"Are you looking for anything in particular?" Alice asked, wanting the man to stop and talk to her.

"No ma'am," he said. He glanced at the shelves and shelves of books lining the shop and walked towards the history section, his hand reaching out to stroke the binding of one of the books.

Alice watched carefully as the man pulled a book about the Civil War from the shelf and settled into one of the large overstuffed chairs in the corner. Opening it up, he began to read. Alice told herself to stop staring but she couldn't seem to draw her eyes away from him.

The door opened and closed again but Alice didn't look over to see who it was. She jumped when someone put a hand on her shoulder and said, "Alice?"

Turning, Alice found herself looking at her brother Edward. "Edward, hi," Alice said, smiling briefly at him before turning back to the mystery man who still sat in the corner of the bookstore.

"Alice, you can leave now," Edward said. "I thought you'd be counting the seconds until I showed up."

"Hmm?" Alice asked, distracted as she turned back to Edward. "Oh right," Alice said. "Well, I can stay Edward, I don't mind. You should take the afternoon off."

Edward raised his eyebrows. "Don't you and Bella have plans?" he asked.

Alice grinned. "We were supposed to go shopping, Edward," Alice said. "I don't think Bella will mind if I cancel."

"When have you ever cancelled a shopping trip Alice?" Edward asked. He followed Alice's line of sight until he was looking at the young, blonde man as well. "Really Alice?" Edward asked with a small laugh.

"Edward," Alice said firmly. "Go take Bella out or something. I'll stay for the afternoon and close up."

"Alright," Edward muttered, putting his coat back on. "We'll see you later for dinner then?"

"Dinner, yeah," Alice said, nodding. "I'll be there."

Edward laughed again and kissed Alice's forehead. "Bye, Alice," he said, slipping out of the store without another glance from Alice.

When the door shut, the man looked up and his eyes met Alice's. Alice smiled again and his lips twitched slightly with a grin of his own but the grin remained half-formed, as if his mouth was unfamiliar with the simple action. Still, encouraged by the almost smile, Alice wandered over to the spot where he sat, trying to look busy by putting books away on the shelf near him.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" Alice asked.

"I'm sure," the man said with a small nod.

Alice sighed softly and then he said, "Is it not okay for me to sit here? I just wanted to get out of the rain for a bit."

"Of course it's okay," Alice said. "I'm sorry I'm hovering," Alice said quickly. "I didn't mean to."

"It's okay," the man said softly.

Alice glanced over at the guitar he had set next to the chair. "Do you play?" Alice asked.

"Not well," the man answered, looking back down at his book.

Alice bit her lip and turned to go back to the counter. "Um, do you want some coffee?" she asked suddenly.

"Coffee?" he repeated. "You have coffee here?"

"Well, we have some in the back," Alice said. "I didn't drink it all this morning."

"You didn't?" he asked and Alice had the fleeting thought that he was gently mocking her seemingly endless energy. When she saw the hint of a smile stretch across his once somber face, she knew she was right.

Alice grinned back. "Do you want some?" she asked again.

After a moment, he nodded and Alice hurried to the small office in the back of the shop. She grabbed a mug and filled it up and then she grabbed one of the doughnuts left over from that morning and carried it out to the man.

"Here," Alice said, handing him the mug and doughnut.

"Thank-you," the man said, taking them from her and setting his book down before taking a long sip of the hot liquid.

"What's your name?" Alice asked, settling into the chair next to him.

The man didn't answer right away. "Jasper," he finally said.

"Jasper," Alice repeated, liking the way his name sounded. "Jasper," she said again. "I'm Alice. Nice to meet you."

Jasper nodded and bit into the doughnut, shifting slightly under Alice's steady gaze. "You're not from here," Alice stated, drawing her legs underneath her and leaning towards Jasper slightly.

"No," Jasper answered, shaking his head and continuing to eat the doughnut.

"You're not very good at the whole having a conversation thing," Alice said bluntly.

The ghost of a smile filtered across his face again. "You're right, I'm not," he said, leaning back in the chair.

"Well, where are you from?" Alice asked. "Somewhere in the South?"

"Texas," Jasper answered.

"What are you doing in Portland?" Alice asked.

Jasper shrugged. "I've never been here before," he said. "Thought I'd try it out."

"Do you have friends or family or anything here?" Alice asked, surprised by her almost obsessive curiosity regarding the man who sat in front of her and wanting to know what would make someone suddenly move to a new city.

"No," Jasper said, shaking his head. He had finished the coffee and the doughnut and had picked up his book again, a clear sign that he was hoping she would leave.

Alice stood up and took the mug from him, wishing she could think of an excuse to stay and sit with him. "Thank-you," Jasper said softly and Alice nodded before slipping away.

She went back to the counter and sat on the stool behind it, taking out a book of her own and trying to read. She couldn't focus though with Jasper in the room and her eyes kept drifting over to him. There was something familiar about the set of his jaw, the slightly guarded look in his green eyes. Alice let her own eyes trail down his body, taking in the well-toned chest covered by a plain grey t-shirt, his long lanky legs and tattered jeans.

Alice bit her lip lightly and focused on his hands. They were big and rough looking, calloused from hard work or playing the guitar, Alice wasn't sure. Without reason, Alice's mind was suddenly full of images of Jasper running those hands across her body.

The sudden images that filled Alice's head surprised her so much she dropped the book she was reading. Jasper looked over at her as it clattered against the counter and Alice's cheeks flushed. She knew Jasper couldn't have any idea what thoughts were running through her mind but Alice still felt flustered and embarrassed. She didn't even know this man and here she was having ridiculous fantasies about him.

"Sorry," Alice muttered, picking up her book again as Jasper smirked at her, almost as if he did know the lustful inappropriate feelings Alice was currently experiencing. Jasper went back to his book and Alice sighed, fiddling with the pages in her own. When she glanced up again, Jasper had pulled a small journal out of his bag and was writing furiously in it, his brow furrowed slightly as he paused for a moment, studying the words he had just written.

Alice watched him carefully again; his blonde hair falling across his forehead in such a way that Alice wanted to touch him, to run her hand through the honey tresses.

"What are you writing?" Alice asked softly.

Jasper looked up as if he had forgotten Alice was there. "Nothing," he said, pushing the journal back into his bag. Jasper stood up and slung his guitar over his back.

"Are you leaving?" Alice asked, straightening up behind the counter.

"It's 5:00," Jasper said. "You're closing, aren't you?"

"Oh," Alice said, glancing at the clock above the counter. "Right," she said, remembering she was supposed to go to her parent's house for dinner.

Jasper was walking towards the door where outside the rain was still falling heavily and Alice had a sudden irrational feeling that she couldn't let him leave. "Come to dinner with me," Alice blurted out.

Jasper turned slowly. "What?" he asked softly.

"We're having dinner at my parent's tonight," Alice said. "Come have dinner with us."

"Alice, you don't know me," Jasper said. "Why in the hell would you invite me to your home?"

"I don't know," Alice said softly.

There was something about the honesty in her answer that made Jasper smile, the first real smile Alice had seen since he walked into the shop. "Do you have any place else to go?" Alice asked him softly.

Jasper shook his head. "Well then wait just a minute while I finish up here," Alice told him, her eyes pleading with him to stay.

Jasper nodded and watched as Alice hurried to the back office, her movements seemingly graceful and easy. Alice hurriedly turned off the lights and put the money from the cash register in the safe before grabbing her purse and walking back out to where Jasper waited.

Alice breathed a sigh of relief she didn't know she had been holding upon seeing Jasper still standing there, waiting for her. Alice put on her coat and walked to the door. She held out her hand to Jasper and he paused, staring at her for a long moment before he slipped his hand into hers. They both stared at their clasped hands and Alice had to bite her lip to hold back the gasp that threatened to fall from her mouth at the jolt of electricity she felt at his touch. Jasper's eyes were wide as he stared at Alice's small hand firmly entwined with his larger one and Alice squeezed lightly, his eyes raising and meeting hers as he allowed Alice to lead him from the shop.

"Mom, Dad?" Alice called when they arrived at her parent's house. She led Jasper inside and pulled off her coat, hanging it up next to the door. Jasper did the same and set his guitar and his tattered bag down along the wall.

"We're in the kitchen," Alice heard her mother call back and Alice smiled at Jasper.

"Come on," she said, taking his hand once again.

"Alice, are you sure this is a good idea?" Jasper asked, feeling suddenly uncertain about randomly showing up for dinner in a gorgeous home like this.

"Of course," Alice told him, pulling on his hand until he followed along behind her once again.

* * *

They entered the kitchen where a woman with long, soft brown hair was standing in front of the stove. A blonde man sat at the table, a few open file folders in front of him.

"Alice I thought you were going shopping with Bella?" Alice's mother asked, turning around to face her daughter. Her eyes fell on Jasper and she gave Alice a slightly confused look.

"Um, Mom, this is Jasper," Alice said, catching her father look up sharply at the mention of a male name. "Jasper, this is my mother, Esme."

"Nice to meet you, Jasper," Esme said, shaking hands with Jasper.

"You too ma'am," Jasper said, his voice soft.

"And this is my father Carlisle," Alice said, grinning at the blonde man. Jasper turned towards Alice's father who was regarding him carefully.

"I didn't know you were bringing company for dinner, Alice," Carlisle said, coming over to give his daughter a hug and to shake hands with Jasper.

"Um, Jasper and I just recently met," Alice said, avoiding telling her parents exactly how recently. "And I thought he could use a decent, home-cooked meal."

"Well then you came to the right place, Jasper," Esme said, smiling warmly at him. "Make yourself comfortable," she said. "And Alice, if your father would stop working for a minute, maybe you could set the table?"

Alice grinned as Carlisle cleared his files away from the table and pressed a quick kiss to Esme's temple. Jasper helped Alice set the table. They had just finished when the front door opened and closed, announcing the arrival of Bella and Edward.

"Hi Mom, Dad," Edward said, giving his mother a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hi Edward, hi Bella," Alice said, hurrying over to give Bella a hug.

"Thanks for working for Edward today," Bella said, smiling over at Edward briefly. "We had a really nice afternoon," she said.

"And you got out of shopping," Alice said which made Bella laugh.

"Yeah, did Alice tell you she was so distracted by a guy at the store today that she gave up an afternoon off and a shopping trip?" Edward asked, laughing as Alice turned to look at him with a slightly panicked expression.

"He wasn't even your type was he, Al?" Edward asked. "A little tall for you, wasn't he?" Edward said, turning around and seeing Jasper for the first time.

"Oh, well, hi," Edward said as Alice smacked his shoulder.

"Hi," Jasper said softly, trying not to smile.

"Um, Jasper this is my brother Edward," Alice said, glaring at Edward briefly. "And his fiancé Bella."

"Nice to meet you," Jasper said.

"You too," Bella told him, poking Edward in the side as he looked from Jasper back to Alice.

"Right, nice to meet you," Edward said, his tone somewhat wary. He glanced at Alice who rolled her eyes, knowing that Edward was concerned about her bringing a random man she had just met to dinner.

There was a moment of awkward silence as Edward and Alice seemed to have a silent conversation and then Alice moved a little closer to Jasper, clearly telling Edward to drop it. She wanted to reach for Jasper's hand but she knew that would only confuse everyone more.

Suddenly, a loud voice called, "Where is everyone?" as the front door opened and closed again.

Alice laughed, grateful for the interruption, as her family groaned at Emmett's loud voice. There was a thud and a muttered curse as Emmett tripped over something in the hallway.

"I don't understand how we can be related," Edward muttered, shaking his head a little.

Emmett walked into the kitchen, his large frame nearly filling the door. "Hi family," Emmett said, glancing around and grinning. "Wait, I don't know you," he said, his gaze landing on Jasper. Emmett looked at Alice standing close to Jasper and quirked an eyebrow at her. "Did you find a boy toy here, short stuff?" he asked, laughing.

Alice flushed and looked over at Jasper whose eyes widened in shock when a young gorgeous blonde woman walked in behind Emmett. She was digging through her purse when Emmett slung a massive arm around her shoulders. "Hey Rose, look at this, Alice brought a guy to dinner."

"What? Alice?" Rosalie said, looking up. She dropped the cell phone she had been searching for in her purse with a loud thud when her eyes landed on Jasper.

"Jasper," Rosalie said, her eyes narrowing. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Rose," Jasper said nervously, running a hand through his hair and mussing it even more. "I didn't know," he mumbled.

Emmett looked back and forth between them. "You two know each other?" he asked.

"We did," Rosalie said, her voice taking on a dangerously angry tone.

"I should go," Jasper said, looking around the room for the quickest exit.

"Hey wait, he's not one of them is he?" Emmett asked, stepping forward to stand in front of Jasper, blocking his exit. Emmett grabbed Jasper roughly by the shoulder. "I swear to God if you're one of the assholes who hurt her I'll fucking kill you," Emmett muttered menacingly.

"Emmett," Carlisle said sharply as Alice stepped between her brother and Jasper.

"They're related, Emmett," Alice said softly, the reasons for Jasper's familiarity earlier clicking into place. He looked exactly like Rose.

"Related?" Emmett said, glancing over at Rosalie and letting go of Jasper's shoulder. "Rose?" he asked.

Rosalie sighed and crossed her arms. "He's my brother," she said. "Twin brother, actually, until he disappeared."

"I didn't know you had a brother," Emmett said, his voice slightly hurt over the fact that Rosalie had kept something so important from him.

"I don't," Rosalie answered through clenched teeth.

"I really should go," Jasper said, slipping around Emmett who was now distracted by Rosalie. Alice hurried after him, catching up with Jasper at the front door.

"Wait, don't go," Alice said, reaching for his hand.

Jasper jerked away from her. "I shouldn't be here, Alice," he said. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm really sorry," he repeated and then he grabbed his things and was gone before Alice could say anything else.

Alice went back to the kitchen where her family was gathered around the table, dinner long forgotten. Alice looked at her parents, her father's hand on her mother's shoulder. Bella and Edward were holding hands under the table and Emmett had an arm around Rosalie, whispering something in her ear. In that moment, Alice felt more alone than she had in a long time—she wanted what everyone else seemed to already had; she wanted that connection, that feeling of belonging to someone. Jasper's face flashed in her mind and suddenly Alice's head was filled of a future with him. She shook her head, telling herself that was ridiculous; she didn't even know him.

"I'm sorry, Rose," Alice said softly. "I had no idea."

"It's alright," Rosalie said, looking up at Alice. "I just haven't seen Jasper in years," Rosalie said softly. "It was kind of a shock."

"How come you never told us you had a brother?" Emmett asked. "A twin brother? I thought you didn't have any family."

"I don't," Rosalie said firmly. "Not anymore."

"Rosalie, dear, you know it's okay to tell us," Esme said, looking at Rosalie carefully.

Rosalie sighed and frowned slightly and Alice was struck by how much she did look like Jasper. They all knew so little about Rosalie's past—all Alice knew was that she had grown up in Texas and moved to LA to be a model and then something awful had happened and she had ended up in here Portland.

Emmett had met Rosalie two years ago when her car broke down and he stopped to help her and quickly figured out Rosalie didn't need anyone's help, especially when it came to cars. Emmett had spent a year asking Rosalie out and she had turned him down every single time until finally she agreed, mostly to get Emmett to leave her alone, in Alice's opinion. But now they had been together for nearly a year and they were perfect for each other but Alice knew Rose was still guarded and cautious about her past, even with Emmett.

Rosalie reached for Emmett's hand before she started to speak. "Jasper and I used to be close," she said softly. "Really close—we had to be."

"Our father was an ass. He beat the hell out of our mom whenever he could," Rose said softly and Alice watched as Emmett's hand tightened on Rosalie's. "And then when we got older, Mom took off and he beat the hell out of Jasper whenever he could."

Rosalie closed her eyes for a moment. "Jasper never let him touch me," she said, her voice wavering slightly. "But then, one night right after we graduated high school, Jasper was out being an idiot with the other loser hicks in our town and our father got home before he did and I was there instead of Jasper."

"We left that night," Rosalie muttered. "Jasper snapped and almost killed him and so we just took off, went to LA. I was going to be a model and Jasper thought he'd be a musician," Rosalie said laughing bitterly.

"We fought all the time once we got to LA," Rosalie continued. "He hated the guy I started dating and it got to where we weren't even speaking and Jasper moved out."

They all knew what was coming next and Emmett leaned over to press a kiss to Rosalie's temple. "Jasper was right of course and after Royce and his friends did what they did, I called him because he was all I had and he never came," Rosalie said. She took a deep breath. "I haven't seen him since I left LA," she said softly.

"I'm sorry, baby," Emmett said softy, kissing Rosalie again as she leaned against him.

"It's not all his fault," Rosalie said. "Anyone would be screwed up after our childhood," Rosalie said. "But it was just easier to pretend like I didn't have a brother than try to talk about him, easier than wondering why he never came when I needed him. I'm sorry," Rosalie said, her eyes shifting to Emmett again.

"Alice how did Jasper end up here?" Carlisle asked, turning to Alice.

"He came into the store today and we were just talking," Alice said. "And it seemed like he had no place to go so I invited him to dinner."

"I'm surprised he came," Rosalie said. "Jasper's kind of the lonely, silent type."

"I was surprised too," Alice said smiling a little.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin dinner," Rosalie said, looking around at the family she had somehow become a part of the past year.

"It's alright, dear," Esme said, patting Rosalie on the shoulder as she stood up to finish setting out dinner for them. Even as they ate and conversation carefully shifted to other, safer topics, Alice couldn't stop thinking about Jasper and wondering where he had gone and if he would ever be back.

* * *

"_Take this sinking boat and point it home_

_We've still got time_

_Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice_

_You'll make it now…"_

When Alice got back to her apartment that night, she was distracted. She kept thinking about Jasper, where he was, what he was doing and so when she rounded the corner on the stairs and her eyes fell on Jasper sitting outside the door to her apartment, Alice thought for a second she had imagined him.

"Hi," he said, standing up slowly.

"Hi," Alice replied. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I wanted to apologize for earlier," Jasper said. "I didn't mean to cause any trouble. And I wanted to make sure Rose was okay."

"How did you know where I lived?" Alice asked.

"I went back to the store," Jasper said. "And your last name was on the door and well you're the only A. Cullen in the phone book."

"Hmm," Alice said softly, opening the door to her apartment and nodding at Jasper to follow. He carried his bag and guitar case into Alice's apartment and she shut the door behind him.

"Sorry, it's a mess," she apologized with a shrug watching as Jasper's eyes darted over the apartment.

"It's fine," he said, setting his things down and eyeing the piano that sat in the living room. "Do you play?" Jasper asked, running his hand lightly over the keys.

"Not well," Alice said, mimicking his words from earlier. "The people who lived here before me didn't want to mess with moving it so it stayed."

Jasper nodded and played a few notes of something Alice didn't recognize before he turned back to her.

"Rose is alright then?" he asked softly.

Alice nodded and sat down on the couch. Jasper sat across from her in a chair and they studied each other for a moment.

"Rose told us everything," Alice said softly. "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" Jasper asked, his tone slightly bitter.

"Well, no one should have to go through all that, especially a child," Alice said softly.

Jasper shrugged and looked away, fiddling with a loose string on the fabric of the chair. "I think Rose misses you," Alice told him. When Jasper still didn't respond, Alice said, "She's happy here though."

"She is?" Jasper asked, looking up finally. "That guy, the big one, they're together?"

"Yeah, Emmett," Alice said with a small laugh. "He's my brother. They're perfect for each other. Meant to be."

"Good," Jasper said with a firm nod. "I'm glad she's happy. She deserves to be." Jasper stood up. "I should go," he said. "I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"Jasper, it's late," Alice said. "And where are you going to go?"

"Wherever," Jasper said. "I'll hitchhike somewhere."

"You can't hitchhike," Alice told him. "It's pouring rain again and it's not safe."

"Alice, how do you think I got here?" Jasper asked, a small smile on his face.

"You can stay here," Alice told him firmly.

Jasper shook his head. "No I can't," he said. "I have to leave Alice before I screw anything else up."

Alice frowned. "You're stubborn like Rose," Alice said. "But I'm stubborn too and you're not going anywhere," she told him.

Jasper watched as Alice went to the closet and pulled out extra blankets and a pillow. "The couch is all yours," she told him.

Jasper opened his mouth to argue again but something stopped him. For some reason, he found he didn't mind staying with this strange woman who he was quickly becoming fascinated by; for someone who had always been a loner, it was an odd feeling to be craving the company of someone he barely knew.

"Good night, Jasper," Alice whispered to him, reaching for his hand and squeezing lightly before she disappeared into her own bedroom.

Jasper was up early the next morning and he listened carefully for a moment. Deciding Alice was still asleep since it was silent in the small apartment, Jasper got up and went to sit at Alice's piano. Jasper loved the piano and he had taught himself how to play when he was young but he had quickly learned guitars were much more portable and easy when you moved around as much as he did. Touching the keys lightly, Jasper began to play softly.

He closed his eyes and continued to play, smiling a little because it had been so long since he had been in front of a piano. He was soon so caught up in the music that he didn't hear Alice come into the living room.

"You're good." The voice behind him startled Jasper and he turned to find Alice standing there.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Jasper said quickly.

"You didn't," Alice answered, shaking her head. She touched the keys, her hands next to his and grinned. "You wrote that?" she asked.

Jasper shrugged. "It's nothing," he muttered.

Alice sat down next to him and smiled. "Keep playing," she said. Alice watched as Jasper's long, thin fingers moved gracefully across the keys. She closed her eyes, listening to him play.

Alice's eyes opened again with a grin when the music shifted and Jasper's soft voice began to sing, "It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside. I'm not one of those who can easily hide."

Alice laughed and Jasper continued to sing softly. "I don't have much money but boy if I did, I'd buy a big house where we both could live. If I was a sculptor, but then again, no, or a man who makes potions in a travelling show. I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do. My gift is my song and this one's for you."

Alice leaned a little closer to Jasper and he sang, "And you can tell everybody this is your song. It may be quite simple but now that it's done. I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you're in the world."

Jasper glanced at Alice and flushed slightly, as if just remembering she was sitting next to him. "Your voice is gorgeous," Alice told him softly. "And I've always loved that song."

Jasper looked away and shifted uncomfortably on the piano bench and Alice stood up. "Do you want some coffee?" she asked, going towards the kitchen. Jasper nodded and followed behind her.

Alice made coffee and then sat down at the table, smiling at Jasper. "So what exactly have you been doing for the past two years Jasper?" Alice asked him.

"You ask a lot of questions," Jasper said.

Alice shrugged. "I'm inquisitive," she told him. "Are you going to answer?" she asked.

Jasper grinned before he said, "Traveling. I go wherever I feel like going, hang out for awhile, make a little money and then move on to the next place."

"Don't you get lonely?" Alice asked.

"No," Jasper said shaking his head. "It's easier this way. I do better by myself. And I've seen the whole country—New York, Chicago, Boston, LA, Austin. It's not a bad life."

"You should stay here for awhile," Alice told him. "You and Rose could re-connect. And Portland's nice. You'd like it." Alice paused before adding, "As long as you don't mind the rain."

"I can't stay here," Jasper said. "Rose doesn't need me in her life any more."

"Why didn't you go to her when she needed you?" Alice asked suddenly.

Jasper stared at Alice for a long time, remembering that night clearly. "I did," he finally said, his voice no more than a whisper. "I went the minute the hospital called me. And when I got there, Rose looked so awful and fragile lying there and I just couldn't handle it so I ran like the coward that I am," Jasper said softly. "I didn't know what to do, what to say. By the time I went back, she was gone and I had no idea where."

"I looked for her at first," Jasper said. "I thought maybe she would have told someone where she went but she just disappeared. And then I figured she didn't want to be found."

"Jasper," Alice said softly.

"It's better this way," Jasper told Alice. "Much better, trust me."

Alice seemed poised to speak but seemed to think better of it. "Come to the shop with me," she told him instead.

"Really?" Jasper asked.

Alice nodded. "Please?" she asked him.

"Okay," Jasper replied, not really sure why he was agreeing. When Alice smiled though, Jasper had the fleeting thought that he'd agree to anything if she would keep smiling at him like that. Alice stood up and hurried to the bathroom to get ready and soon they were back at the bookshop and Alice was opening up for the day.

Jasper hung out most of the day, playing guitar softly in the corner while Alice went about her business. Jasper watched Alice carefully as he played, trying to be subtle about it. He liked how she treated everyone who came in and out of the shop as if they were friends, smiling and laughing with everyone.

Alice had the most beautiful smile Jasper had ever seen and even though part of him knew he should leave, that he should head out to the next city, he found he didn't want to leave Alice. Jasper told himself that was dumb, that he didn't even know Alice and yet every time she looked at him and grinned, Jasper felt like she knew him.

For lunch, Alice sent Jasper across the street to pick up sandwiches and they sat in the comfortable chairs in the back corner of the store and ate together. They sat in comfortable silence for most the meal until Jasper asked, "Do you own this place then?"

Alice grinned at him. "You're catching on to this conversation thing," she told him.

"I'm a fast learner," Jasper replied.

Alice laughed. "I half own it," she answered. "It's been in Mom's family for years," Alice explained. "And now Edward and I run it. We're not getting rich or anything, trust me but we do okay," Alice said. "But Mom met Dad here and well, we all kind of grew up running around here so we can't bear to sell it."

"I like it," Jasper said looking around. "There's something about it."

"I know," Alice said grinning. "There is," she agreed. Ever since she was a little kid, Alice had always thought there was something slightly magical about the small bookstore. She had loved it for as long as she could remember and she couldn't help but think that she loved it even more now because it had, in a way, brought Jasper to her.

* * *

Jasper stayed in Portland for a month, hanging out with Alice at the store most of the time. Jasper had taken to playing his guitar in the back corner of the small shop and people started showing up to see him at the store. Alice's family was cautious and careful around him and Alice knew they were concerned that he was still sleeping on her couch.

Alice loved it though and while their relationship had remained strictly platonic, Alice found Jasper understood her in a way no one else ever had. He seemed to know what she was feeling even before she did and he was sweet and patient and Alice liked having him around. Of course, he was also slightly moody and prone to brooding at times but Alice found she didn't even mind that so much. Most nights after spending the day at the store, Alice and Jasper would return to her apartment where he was teaching her how to play piano. He would play her songs he had written and Alice would sit next to him, watching his skillful fingers fly across the keys and praying to whoever happened to be listening that Jasper wouldn't ever leave.

Rosalie and Jasper had formed a tentative reconnection and although they were still slightly cold towards one another, Alice was positive they would be able to fix their relationship. Rosalie had even admitted to Alice how much she had missed Jasper and that it was nice having him around again. However, Rosalie kept warning Alice to be careful, that Jasper had always been slightly stir-crazy and he wasn't likely to stay in one place for very long.

Alice's family warned her of the same thing—watching as Alice seemed to become more and more enthralled with Jasper. And while they could see that he cared for her too and that he was different when Alice was around, they were all worried about what would happen when Jasper decided to leave.

One night Alice had left the store to run to the bank before it closed and when she got back, Jasper was packing up his things. "You ready?" Alice asked him, smiling and reaching for his hand.

"Um, Alice, I'm leaving," Jasper told her. "Leaving for good leaving."

"What, why?" Alice asked, feeling as if the entire wonderful world they had created over the last month was suddenly crashing down around her. "What happened?"

"Nothing, Alice, I should have left a long time ago," Jasper said, reaching for the door. "I don't belong here," he said even though he felt sick at the thought of leaving Alice behind. He couldn't stay though, he had let it all go on too far and he would only bring Alice pain and he couldn't bare that thought.

Alice watched as Jasper opened the door and walked out. Alice hurried after him.

It was pouring and within seconds Alice was soaked but she didn't care. "Jasper!" she yelled, grabbing his arm and forcing him to look at her. "You can't just leave Jasper," she yelled.

"Yes I can," Jasper yelled back. "This is what I do Alice, it's who I am," Jasper told her. "I can't stay here any more and sleep on your couch and pretend like I belong."

"But you do belong here Jasper. You have family here, people who lo-," Alice stopped before she said anything else. "Stay Jasper, please?" she begged, taking his hand, her voice softer than before.

Jasper glanced down at their clasped hands. "Trust me, I'm doing you a favor by leaving," Jasper said.

Alice shook her head and stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around him tightly. She shook her head against her chest and began to sob. "Don't leave me," she said softly, her tears mixing with the rain. "Please don't leave me," she begged. "I need you."

She felt Jasper's body relax against hers and his arms wrapped around her until their bodies seemed to blend together into one. She felt Jasper's lips on her hair, her forehead, her nose and then they were pressed against her lips, kissing her deeply as the rain continued to fall around them.

Alice pressed her body even closer to his and kissed him back until they were both breathless. She reached for Jasper's hand, running her other hand across his face and then she pulled him towards the store. They entered silently and Alice threw the lock into place.

For a moment, they stared at each other, both of them dripping water all over the floor. Then they moved towards one another at the same time, their mouths once again fused together. Alice's small tongue pushed against Jasper's lips until they parted and Alice had never felt anything quite like the feel of Jasper's tongue moving against hers.

He picked her up, his strong hands supporting her as Alice wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, not wanting to part from his mouth. Jasper carried her through the store and into the back office where he set her gently on the couch, his body hovering over hers as their kisses grew deeper.

When Jasper drew back to yank his wet t-shirt off, Alice looked up at him with a brain that felt fuzzy, whether that was from his kisses or the lack of oxygen, Alice wasn't sure but she watched as the gorgeous man before her smiled softly and then bent to kiss her once again.

This time though Alice was distracted by the sight of his naked chest in front of her and she reached out to trail her hand across the faint scars the lined his upper torso, scars Alice knew his own father had given him. Alice had a sudden strange desire to run her tongue across his body and so she wiggled out from underneath him, moving until she was straddling him. Grinning Alice bent down and began peppering his chest with kisses, her mouth moving gently across his scars, her tongue flicking out against his nipples and making his hips buck against hers.

Alice felt emboldened and powerful in a way she never had before and she continued licking and sucking her way down Jasper's body, her tongue making lazy patterns across his stomach. Her mouth reached the waistband of his jeans and Alice reached down, her hands fumbling with the zipper until she managed to get it undone. She slipped his jeans and his boxers down far enough that she could grasp his hard length in her small hands.

Jasper's eyes were dark as he watched Alice's fingers move across his skin. He groaned softly and muttered her name, his hips pushing against her hands. Smiling again, Alice continued kissing her way across his hips, moving slowly towards his straining erection.

When Alice took him into her mouth, running her tongue along his sensitive skin, Jasper's eyes fluttered close. He resisted the urge to push himself deeper into her warm, wet mouth and when she added her hand to her tongue's gentle sucking, Jasper's eyes opened again.

He looked down at Alice as she continued moving her mouth against him, her teeth scraping lightly across his skin. Alice hummed around him and the vibration of her mouth against his skin was almost too much. Jasper reached down and gently tugged Alice up towards him. He kissed her and flipped them so that she was the one on her back again.

"It's hardly fair that you still have all your clothes on," Jasper muttered against Alice's mouth. He pulled the wet material of her dress up and away from her body, tossing it on the floor next to his own discarded clothing. Alice had always been slightly self-conscious about her body and she watched carefully as Jasper's eyes seemed to drink her in.

Smiling Jasper kissed her again, whispering, "You're beautiful," against her mouth as his hands slid across her back, skillfully unclasping her bra. He tossed that to the floor as well and then cupped her breasts in his hands, his fingers skimming across her nipples gently.

Alice arched her back, pushing her body into Jasper's hands and he smiled against her skin at her eagerness. His tongue continued down her body, nipping and sucking at the skin of her stomach and dipping in and out of her bellybutton briefly. Painfully slowly, Jasper began to tug Alice's underwear down her legs, his mouth following behind so he was placing feather-light kisses along her thighs, her knees, her calves, skipping right over the place she most wanted him to touch.

Grinning up at her now naked body, Jasper smirked and made his way back up her body, his hands moving across her skin until he stopped between her thighs, his fingers lightly stroking her heated skin. Alice mumbled his name, her head falling back against the couch as Jasper slowly pushed the tip of his thumb inside of her.

Alice's hands found their way into his blonde curls as Jasper moved his finger slowly in and out of her. When his tongue flicked across her clit, Alice's hips bucked wildly and her hands clutched at his hair, holding him tight against her. Jasper's tongue began to move more insistently against her and he moved his arm to firmly hold her hips down, keeping her pinned to the couch.

"God, Jasper," Alice muttered, her entire body clenching as Jasper expertly brought her to the edge. With one final simultaneous thrust of his finger and flick of this tongue, Alice cried out loudly, her body clenching around him as she came.

Jasper placed gentle kisses along the inside of her thighs, moving up her body once again before his face was next to hers. He kissed Alice's cheek as her breathing began to steady and her eyes opened, looking at him with a slightly unfocused gaze. Jasper kissed her softly and Alice wrapped her arms around his neck, every part of their bodies touching.

"That was," Alice started to say. She took a deep breath and Jasper grinned, brushing her hair away from her sweaty forehead. "Wow," Alice finally said.

Jasper laughed softly as Alice kissed him. "I've never, I mean," Alice was babbling and Jasper found it oddly endearing.

"You mean you've never…?" Jasper asked, unsure of what Alice meant.

"I mean, I've done this before," Alice said, her cheeks flushing slightly. "But um, I've never, it's never felt like that before," she admitted.

"Well clearly you've only ever been with inept idiots," Jasper said, kissing Alice's nose.

Alice laughed. "That's about right," she told him, one hand weaving through his hair again as the other traced the scars against his chest.

"That was only the beginning, darlin'," Jasper said with a grin, pressing his hips into hers so Alice could feel every inch of him.

Alice smiled as Jasper's length slid across her sticky skin. He kissed her again, his tongue tangling with hers and Alice reached down between them, her hand stroking him gently. "I need you, Jasper," she muttered against his mouth as she guided him inside of her.

Jasper's forehead fell against Alice's shoulder as he thrust inside of her, both of them gasping at how right it felt. Their eyes locked for a moment and Jasper was still, his body hovering over hers. Then Alice laced her hand with his and pulled his mouth to hers and Jasper pulled out of her slowly before thrusting back in, their tongues mimicking the moments of their bodies.

What started as slow and almost gentle lovemaking quickly turned into something else as Alice met Jasper thrust for thrust. Jasper's thrusts grew erratic as he felt Alice's body responding to his once again. His hand moved from his tight grip on her hip up her body, moving across her breasts and pinching her nipple lightly, making Alice moan and arch into him before he moved her hands above her head, his own much bigger fingers entwined firmly with hers.

Alice swiveled her hips and seemed to draw him even deeper inside of her as waves of delight began to wash over her. Jasper kissed her then, swallowing the cries of her release as he continued to thrust erratically until he released inside of her as well.

Jasper felt Alice's body go limp under him and Jasper slumped against her, moving his hands down to cup her face, running his finger across her cheek before he kissed her lazily.

Alice opened her eyes and smiled at Jasper, kissing his chin. Jasper reached for the blanket on the back of the couch and pulled Alice's body against him, keeping her firmly trapped in his arms as he covered their naked sweaty bodies with the worn blanket.

Alice felt Jasper kiss her shoulder and she tightened her grip on his hand. "I love you, Jasper," she muttered. "Please don't leave me," she whispered, kissing his hand that was still clasped with hers before she fell into a deep, wonderfully satisfied sleep.

* * *

"_Falling slowly, eyes that know me_

_And I can't go back_

_Moods that take me and erase me_

_And I'm painted black_

_You have suffered enough_

_And warred with yourself_

_It's time that you won…"_

Jasper woke up with a start the next morning, confusion filling his mind for a moment until he glanced down at Alice's body curled up against his on the couch. The night before came back to Jasper in a rush—him and Alice outside the bookstore, yelling in the rain and then her mouth pressed against his and their stumbled walk to the office, the shedding of their clothes, their bodies moving together.

"Shit," Jasper muttered to himself as Alice's confession of love came back to him as well. He leaned his head against her bare shoulder and took a deep breath, breathing in a scent that was all Alice. Jasper allowed himself a short moment of contentment, curled up next to Alice and then he carefully untangled himself from her naked body, hopping over the back of the couch so he wouldn't disturb her. Jasper found his clothes quickly and pulled them on, ignoring the damp musty feeling they still had from last night's rain.

Jasper knelt in front of the still sleeping Alice on the couch and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'm so sorry, Alice," he muttered, moving her hair away from her forehead.

"I'm so, so sorry," he muttered again, as he watched her sleep for a moment and then stood up and started to walk away. Jasper found his guitar and his bag out in the store and with one final look behind him, Jasper slipped out the door into the busy morning street.

* * *

A door slammed shut and the noise startled Alice into sudden alertness. She sat up, the blanket wrapped around her body and glanced around the small office. "Jasper," Alice said softly, glancing behind her but frowning when she realized she was alone.

Alice glanced around the room and noticed instantly Jasper's clothes were gone. Then she remembered what had woken her up in the first place and she smiled. He must have gone to get coffee or breakfast or something she told herself.

The door to the office creaked open and Alice looked up, waiting to see Jasper walk through the doorway. When Edward appeared instead, Alice felt her heart shatter.

"Alice, what's going on?" Edward said, glancing around the office. When his eyes fell on Alice wrapped in the blanket on the couch, her clothes strewn around the room, Edward's eyes widened. "Oh, well, I, sorry," Edward said, hurriedly closing the door again.

Alice sighed softly, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. A sudden thought occurred to her and Alice stood up quickly, grabbing her clothes and throwing them on, barely noticing that her dress was still damp and sticky from the night before. She hurried back out to the store where Edward was behind the counter.

"His guitar?" Alice asked. "Where is it?" she said, looking wildly around the small store. "Is it here?" she asked.

"Alice, what are you talking about?" Edward asked.

"Jasper's guitar," Alice said, her voice containing the hint of a desperate plea. "Is it here?" she asked.

Edward shook his head slowly. "I don't think so Al," he said softly.

Alice nodded and her body sagged against the counter. "I guess that means he's really gone then," she muttered, her eyes tearing up again. "He really left."

"Alice," Edward said, moving towards his sister. "I'm sorry but that's what he does, isn't it?" Edward asked.

Alice's eyes flashed. "I thought it would be different," she said, her voice cracking lightly. "I love him, Edward," she admitted.

"Alice, you barely know him," Edward pointed out. "We all warned you that this would happen."

"But I do know him," Alice said. "I know him," she repeated. "But now he's gone." Alice shook her head and wiped at her eyes. "I'm going to go home," she told Edward softly.

Edward nodded and moved towards Alice, giving her a quick hug. "I'm sorry, Alice," he said softly.

Alice nodded and allowed herself to be comforted by Edward's embrace for a moment before she pulled away and left the store.

* * *

Jasper squinted in the sun, the warm sunny weather of San Diego a drastic change from the rainy weather of Portland he had just left behind. Jasper groaned to himself as thoughts of Alice and the way her skin smelled in the rain filled his head. He had tried the entire bus trip down the coast to forget about Alice but it was impossible; thoughts of the dark-haired woman filled his every moment.

Jasper shifted the guitar on his back slightly and continued wandering down the street. He had no plan, nowhere to go but he couldn't say in Portland with Alice. She deserved someone, anyone, better and Jasper had been foolish to give into her in the first place.

Sighing to himself, Jasper stopped in front of a man leaning against a light pole on the corner. He was singing in a soft, quiet voice and Jasper stopped to listen to the song he had heard once before,

"Oh, you're in my veins, and I cannot get you out

Oh, you're all I taste, at night inside of my mouth

Oh, you run away, cause I am not what you found

Oh, you're in my veins, and I cannot get you out

Everything will changed

Nothing stays the same

Nobody is perfect…"

Jasper watched as the man continued to sing, oblivious to the various people walking by, some of them stopping for a moment to toss a dollar or a few coins into the man's open guitar case. Even after the last strands of the song had faded away, Jasper stood there, staring at the man as the lyrics repeated over and over in his head, "Oh, you're in my veins and I cannot get you out."

Jasper was sure he had never encountered words that were more true—he had been gone from Alice for two days and yet he felt as if it had been a lifetime, nothing seemed right any more without her and as much as Jasper told himself that was crazy, that one person he barely knew couldn't make him feel like this, part of him knew that what he had with Alice, what he _could_ have with Alice, was more real than anything else. A life without her in it seemed suddenly pointless.

The man with the guitar looked up and frowned at Jasper. "You planning on giving me any money?" he asked. "Or are you looking to steal my corner?" he said, his eyes falling on Jasper's own guitar.

"I'm sorry," Jasper said. "I'm just thinking."

"You're running away," the man said.

"Excuse me?" Jasper asked, looking down at the man.

"Everyone who shows up here with a guitar and that look in their eyes is running away from something," the man said. "And I'm gonna guess it's a woman."

Jasper hung his head. "Do you love her?" the man asked him.

Jasper paused and regarded the man carefully. "Yes," he finally answered.

"She doesn't love you?" the man asked.

Jasper shook his head, remembering clearly Alice's whispered confession that night in the bookstore. "She does," Jasper muttered. "But she shouldn't."

"Oh, you're one of those," the man said with a laugh. "The tortured, I don't deserve anyone's love kind of guy," the man continued to laugh. "No wonder you're a musician."

Jasper frowned. "Listen," the man said, collecting his money and his guitar. "If you love her and she loves you, you're an idiot for standing here on this corner with me."

"You don't understand," Jasper said, shaking his head. "It's better this way. I can't, I don't want to hurt her."

"You don't think your running away hurt her?" he asked. "Listen to me," the man said, stepping towards Jasper. "We never know when love will find us but it's what we're all looking for, isn't it? Isn't that what every good song ever written is about?"

When Jasper nodded slowly, the man said, "Well if you are lucky enough to find that, why the hell would you ever let it go?" he said and with a final nod he walked away from Jasper, making his way down the crowded street.

Jasper stood there alone for a long time, the man's words playing over and over in his mind. Jasper had found that the people you love only end up hurting you and if not, you just end up hurting them. But maybe the man was right and maybe there was such a thing as real love and maybe Jasper was an idiot for running away from Alice, for running away at his chance to be happy, to belong to someone. Finally, Jasper nodded once as if telling the busy sidewalk he had made his decision and he turned and walked towards the bus station. He found a pay phone, an old battered one that Jasper was sure no one had used in years but Jasper hurried over to it and shoved a few coins in, dialing a number he had only recently learned.

"Hello?" his sister's voice answered after three rings.

"Rose, it's me," Jasper said, waiting for the angry tirade he was sure would come.

"Jasper, why are you calling me?" Rosalie said, her voice low with anger. "Do you have any idea what you've done? It's Alice, Jasper," Rosalie said. "You don't get to do this to her."

"I know Rose," Jasper said, leaning against the wall. "I'm sorry, I fucked up," Jasper said. "I know that. I want to come home."

There was silence on the other end. "I thought you didn't have a home, Jasper?" Rosalie finally said and Jasper was surprised to hear only sadness in her voice.

"I do now, Rose," Jasper told her. "Please, I need money. For a bus ticket. So I can come back to Portland. To you," Jasper pleaded with his sister. "To Alice. I want to fix this if I can, Rose. I love her."

There was another long pause and Jasper was worried Rosalie had hung up on him. "Jasper, I swear to God if you fuck this up, I will kill you," Rosalie finally said. "Seriously, kill you," she told him.

"Fair enough," Jasper told her, a small smile beginning to form on his face.

"I'll wire you what you need," Rosalie grumbled. "Tell me where."

* * *

Jasper stood outside the bookstore, watching through the window as Alice chatted away with a young man at the counter. Jasper felt instantly and irrationally jealous and he gritted his teeth, keeping himself from rushing into the store. He knew it would be time to close up soon and he wanted it to be just him and Alice.

Finally, the man waved to Alice and walked out the door. Jasper took a deep breath and then pushed the door open, watching as Alice looked up at the sound of the small bell. "Sorry, we're closed," she started to say, her mouth dropping open when she saw Jasper.

"What are you doing here?" Alice asked, folding her arms across her chest as she watched Jasper.

Suddenly everything Jasper had wanted to say, everything he had practiced on the bus ride back to Portland seemed to die on the tip of his tongue.

"I love you," Jasper blurted out, the words falling from his mouth so much easier than he thought they would.

Jasper watched as Alice's eyes narrowed slightly. "You disappeared Jasper," Alice said softly. "I begged you not to leave and then we slept together and I told you I loved you and I woke up alone," Alice said.

"I know," Jasper said, stepping towards Alice. "I got scared Alice," Jasper said. "I'm only good at hurting people I love and I can't stand the idea of hurting you and so I ran away because I'm a huge fucking coward," Jasper told her.

"But Alice, for the first time in my life, I don't want to run any more," Jasper said, moving close enough to Alice that he could touch her. He reached for her hand, encouraged when she didn't pull away.

"And you have every right to kick me out and tell me to leave and that you never want to see me again," Jasper said. "I'd deserve that. But Alice, I had to tell you that I love you," Jasper said, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing her knuckles gently. "I love you," he repeated against her skin.

Alice sighed softly. Jasper watched as indecision flashed in her eyes and then she was wrapping her arms tightly around his waist, hugging him to her and breathing in deeply, her head resting against his chest.

"You left me, Jasper," she said softly, her voice muffled by his shirt. Jasper felt his heart catch for a moment before Alice looked up at him. "But you came back," she said softly.

Alice smiled at him then and Jasper wondered how he had ever thought leaving her was a good idea. "I love you too," she whispered, standing on her tiptoes to press her lips against his.

Jasper kissed her back deeply before pulling back to kiss every part of Alice's face that he could reach, his lips whispering "I love you" over and over again against her skin.

Smiling, Jasper gently brushed Alice's hair away from her forehead and pulled her to him once again. "Can we call Rose and tell her I'm here so she doesn't kill me?" Jasper asked, kissing Alice's hair.

Alice laughed against him and looked up. "We'll call Rose later," she told him, taking his hand and pulling him towards the back office. When Alice stopped and pulled him down with her on the couch, Jasper couldn't help but smile, thinking that he was finally, finally home.

"_Take this sinking boat and point it home_

_We've still got time_

_Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice_

_You've made it now_

_Falling slowly sing your melody_

_I'll sing along…"_

_

* * *

_**A/N: Well? **


End file.
